The Green Hornet

This is a terrible movie. I should probably stop at this point because any further analysis of the movie might actually make it seem like it is better than it is.

The movie is made out of world’s thinnest plot with characters and ideas borrowed from other good movies within superhero genre and they still did not create a good movie. Seth Rogan and the Asian guy team up for no reason to become the local superheroes — I am not kidding — and then they end up taking out the biggest gangster in L.A. Stories poorer than this have been made into better films, but I found this one to be unwatchable.

I suppose there is nothing to spoil in this movie, so I might as well tell you what happens. Seth Rogan is a super rich play boy, who upon his uptight and tough-love dad’s death becomes the owner of one of the most powerful newspapers in town. One of his servants in his bug mansion is this slightly short Asian guy, with what seems like a forced Asian accent, and – get this – he is very good at, wait for it, martial arts. He is also an exceptionally talented mechanic who can make things with a car that would make NASA look like third grade science fair organizers. He builds everything overnight like armored cars – four of them, OVERNIGHT!! He designs weapons, missiles and sharp metallic claw thingies that pop out of the car’s sides and puncture the enemy car tires at close range. Also, when he gets surrounded by bad guys, he goes into this Matrix Neo state where he can see the weapons highlighted in red as the villains move in ultra-slow motion. One day, Seth Rogan gets drunk and gets this idea that they should become local town crime fighters and The Green Hornet and his nameless sidekick are born.

Did I mention that this is a terrible movie?

Excellent veteran actors like Tom Wilkins and Christoph Waltz, who was the charmingly menacing Hans Landa in Inglorious Basterds, are wasted away in shallow roles reduced to just reciting toothless lines. The makers of the movie didn’t even bother too much with the graphics and CGI and they have clearly set the lower bar for stunt sequences in any action hero flick, ever. A common character in these kinds of movies is a drop-dead hottie and in this movie they went with Cameron Diaz. No offense to Ms.Diaz, but seriously ? A paper-thin story with incredibly powerful automobiles as the only interesting character – Megan Fox was born for this movie.

I feel like I should watch Kick-Ass or WatchMen to get back my true sense of what an action hero film is supposed to be.

[Post: 237 of 365] [Days Missed: 66]
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