Homer Simpson is an iconic fictional American legend who has captured the hearts of millions of fans world-wide. I got a chance to see parts of ‘The Simpsons Movie’ again today, and I realized much I love this dude. Here are my favorite ten best quotes from the most loved yellow-skinned man with four fingers in the entire universe.
1. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
2. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
3. [To his son] Bart, with $10,000 we’d be like millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
4. I’m having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
5. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.
6. [To his daughter] Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
7. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
8. [To his father] Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.
9. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?
10. You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
[Post: 212 of 365] [Days Missed: 64]
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