Missing Steps From The Manual

Study well, get a decent score, get to college, graduate, get a job. And the manual stopped right there. No more text after that. You would think there will be more than that since one is barely in his early 20s at graduation and there is lots of time left. In fact some of the toughest hurdles come after one reaches legal drinking age and many of them are unrelated to alcohol.

Given the exemplary education and guidance we all receive from our schools and colleges, its safe to assume that we will figure out most of the tricky scenarios of our lives by simply copying from others, preferably people better than ourselves. But not all the strategies others use are available to us. There is only so much you can learn from trolling someone’s Facebook page. Usually the missing parts are details. Subtle things that are easy to miss but make a world of difference if, indeed, missed. A good example would be smiling when you tell someone they are wrong. With a frown you come off as a jerk calling the other person incompetent, but with a warm smile you will be seen as constructive criticizer. See, details.
So, from my vast experience of few years in the post college real world, I am providing you ten most important things that are missing in the original Life Manual. These are absolute truths and can, in no way, be challenged by any person or authority, alive, dead or zombie-state.

1. You will screw up. If you have never screwed up in your life, you are lying to yourself. Get over it.

2. Your job is almost your identity. The part of your identity not related your job is the only thing that is keeping you sane.

3. If you stop doing something, you will forget it. There is no way around this. If you keep doing the same thing, you will still forget some parts of it from time to time. Scientists have found out that this behavior is often exhibited by people who call themselves “detail oriented’.

4. Stop believing in movies. No movie ever made had something that came even close to real life; May be some rich people’s lives, but definitely not your life anyway.

5. Don’t worry if you cannot make eye contact with everyone you meet. Most people don’t notice since they don’t do it either. If you absolutely have to, look at the area between their eyes. No one can tell the difference. Or wear glasses.

6. No matter how hard you try, you cannot avoid a**holes. The best way to handle them is the same way as their anatomical namesake – minimal contact and only on absolute need basis.

7. You will never like one thing above everything else. It is a myth. You will always like many things in varying degrees all the time.

8. Do yourself a favor by minimizing time spent in front of the mirror. I am sorry to say this, but its a downhill battle.

9. If you speak in a slow but loud voice, people will listen to you. Even if you are totally bullsh*tting, as long as you keep speaking in that tone, you will hold their attention.

10. The single best thing you can ever do in your life is being helpful to someone. Doesn’t have to be big, but has to be timely. You can collect a lot of goodwill points this way. You need those points when you die.

There. You are welcome. I hope someone adds these to the original Life Manual. Of course, there will be more future additions to this list, but for now its considered comprehensive enough.

These ten points are, like I said before, absolute truths. They should not be mocked, joked about or be generally derided by any man, woman or child without the express authorization of the author.

Do you have any life lessons of your own ?

[Post: 155 of 365] [Days Missed: 55]
I am on a blog-a-day-for-a-year crusade. Keep me motivated with your comments. Or tell me how to grind coffee beans without using a grinder.