Calling All Butchers, Psychos And Surgeons

I posted my new bearded look in yesterday’s blog and the response was, to be concise, overwhelming. The number of page visits have sky rocketed since yesterday – based on my crude calculations the number of people who visited my blog since last night exceeds the total views for the 5 days before that – and have also received a huge number of comments over at Facebook and twitter. I will admit, that this was totally unexpected and I feel like I have just discovered some secret door that leads to massive readership. Here is a quick shout-out to all of you who took the time to read my blog and provide very kind and, in some cases, whimsical feedback. Thanks so much.

I am still amazed at your interest in me changing my appearance, even if its only by a small degree. If just changing facial hair could generate this much attention, surely there are things I could do to up the ante and thereby increase the site traffic dramatically. Through your responses you have shown me what you people really want and I shall provide it to you. Starting today, I will cut-off a single part from my body and post the picture on my blog.  I will continue to do so everyday, until I run out of body parts that can be safely severed or I am dead, whichever comes first. In case death comes first, I would need a volunteer who would perform the said ‘cutting off the body parts’ after my demise and continue to post in in my blog until we reach our ultimate target of 365 posts. You thought I was not serious about this? It just got fucking serious people. The criteria for application is simple. You must be skilled at wielding a sharp cutting tool, anything from a scalpel to serrated machete is acceptable and you should not have any kind of allergies to warm blood, open flesh and exposed bones. Any prior experience with butchery is a plus. Obviously you would be be getting paid for you services since I would be dead and this would not count as services provided. Depending on you state of residence mutilating a corpse may be illegal and I take no liability for such resultant actions by law enforcement agencies. Send your applications through email or twitter [@mebetterthanall]. No cover letter necessary. Just bring your blood thirst and sense of humor.

P.S : Felons convicted for any kind of violent crimes, need not apply.

[Post: 53 of 365] [Days Missed: 8]

I am on a blog-a-day-for-a-year crusade. Keep me motivated with your comments. Or find me emergency room nurses.


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