Homer Simpson is an iconic fictional American legend who has captured the hearts of millions of fans world-wide. I got a chance to see parts of ‘The Simpsons Movie’ again today, and I realized much I love this dude. Here are my favorite ten best quotes from the most loved yellow-skinned man with four fingers in the entire universe.
1. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
2. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
3. [To his son] Bart, with $10,000 we’d be like millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
4. I’m having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
5. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.
6. [To his daughter] Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
7. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
8. [To his father] Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.
9. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?
10. You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Bonus quote:
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
[Post: 212 of 365] [Days Missed: 64]
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